well I've read through all of this - what a complicated subject!

I think the answer would be to have two games - two sports.

One game where everybody is allowed to do what they like with the ball - have a funny shaped ball, and the fielding team have little kits like manicure sets where they can upick, rub in lip balm, etc to their hearts content. Perhaps have a little unpicking break - now and then.

then another sport where nothing like that is allowed - not even rubbing. And a new ball every six overs or so.

then people could choose which they wanted to see.