I'm still a little stunned by the following. I've seen a few crass and thoughtless acts in singarounds and sessions but I think this one stands out as being in a league of its own.

I was in the Endeavour pub in Whitby lateish on last night and thought I'd just go in for a song or a play before going off home. The pub was fairly busy and there were perhaps 6 or 7 people there playing tunes and things with three musicians in the middle being the 'centre of attention', one playing a squeezebox, one a piano accordion about the size of a small fridge and a guitarist.

So a guy starts singing 'Shoals of Herring' unaccompanied ...

After a brief period of time the squeezebox player tells him he's playing it in the wrong key and that he should be doing it in C (presumably as he didn't have the competence to play it in the original key) and starts playing in 'his' key. The singer - perhaps looking a hint surprised - adapts to the new key and continues singing. On balance he had few options as it's tricky to pitch an unaccompanied song in a different key and time against a squeezebox.

At which point the squeezebox's two other playing companions join in and change the time of the tune. This pretty effectively throws the singer again - firstly as the timing is different and secondly because the accordion being played heartily would probably drown Concorde taking off.

Now for the real clincher...

The squeezebox player has spotted the real flaw with the rendition of Shoals of Herring - THE WRONG MAN IS SINGING IT. Of course, how foolish of the original guy to start singing it - it should be Mr Squuezebox singing it. So he now sings away in his own fashion.

As I commented out to the guy sitting next to me it gave me a whole new perspective on the concept of accompaniment. How silly to think that accompanists are there to add to the singer when you can improve things by obliterating the misguided idiot by key, timing and noise. I will of course be adopting this new policy forthwith and may even change my instrument to something noisier so that I can best implement this new strategy. What's even better is you only have to learn tunes in one key - think of the saving in time!

I watched for a few more minutes as the trio blasted away with a few more tunes while the other musicians there had a look which I can best describe as 'deer caught in the headlights' - looking into space, not playing etc

Perhaps it's just me but I thought the guy singing the song was doing just fine until he got f***ed by the rest of them.

I have the following little scene playing through my head...

[Enter stage left white haired squeezebox player]
WIFE: Your pot roast is in the oven, dear. How did you get on at the folk festival?
MR SQUEEZE: There weren't many players there getting involved surprisingly so we had to play all the time practically.
WIFE: How tiring for you - all the time?
MR SQUEEZE: Well there was one time when a misguided chap started to sing Shoals of Herring but he was doing it all wrong.
WIFE: And did you set him right?
MR SQUEEZE: Oh yes [smug smile from ear to ear] - I don't think he'll get that wrong again while I'm there to put him back on the straight and narrow.
WIFE: Swoon. My hero...