Ok, bursaries are all gone for this school year. The school might get more money for scholarships in December. Maybe.

OSAP's estimate is $13,000 short of what we need *at a minimum* to live on, get health taken care of, and physically go to school. I was expecting $5,000-$8,000 short considering how poor we are, but OSAP probably reserves the maximum for a married couple with kids.

(And believe me, I'm not talking caviar and beds of rose petals... when I budget minimum, I budget minimum. I even found a place that is WAY under the average rent for Toronto, that won't make me sick with environmental sensitivities! (The landlady has them too.))

I may have help from a co-signor for $5,000. That's still $8,000 short. The bank will not allow me to apply without a co-signor or a job. The bank refused to allow me to apply for a short-term loan to pay rent with before OSAP comes in, because the OSAP estimate said "estimate" not "guarantee" so I will probably lose out on the place and have to get something twice as expensive AND buy furniture. Any rooms for rent that will allow a couple into the same room are the same price as that place.)

It's not like I can walk out tomorrow and get a part-time job and be able to do it. All summer, I have not had adequate food or access to medication. I need time to ramp-up even to a job SEARCH. With school, ok, it's important to be there, but it's not NEARLY as important as with a job.

My guy's parents probably won't help. We will ask... but they expect him to be as capable as a normal person and then blame him for not being that way. (And they expect him to work here illegally if we're THAT bad of, even though that is the dumbest possible thing we could do.)

So, again, the plan is impossible because it requires money. I can't go to school, I can't get a place to live. We're getting kicked out of the shelter anyway because I have no options for a plan. He can't go to school here instead of me because it'd be $12,000 more expensive than for me!

If we were allowed to stay at the shelter, I'd need an additional $500 a month just to LOOK for a part-time job, much less get to one. (Which is rather why I wasn't able to look effectively all summer.)

I'm sorry, living requires money. I don't have money. Therefore, I can't get money to live. That's just the way it works. Disability... well... I'm theoretically capable of going to school full-time or of working part-time. Therefore I'm not disabled.

We can't even go on social assistance because rent for ANYTHING would be more than I'd receive, so they'd disqualify me based on the fact that I'd have to have extra income from somewhere to pay that much in rent. We can't stay in the shelter and get OSAP, because that's "double-dipping" and is illegal.

I could get tuition deferred, for an extra fee. Then I'd just have to borrow even more money that I can't borrow in the first place. Without more co-signers, nothing at all can happen. Orientation is tomorrow...

So, tomorrow I talk to the school and tell them that the bank turned me down and I have no place to live and no way to pay tuition, buy books, buy pants (I have no pants just two pairs of shorts), or pay for transportation/food/medication/anything.