John:

To answer your questions directly, yes we sing this song and would be willing to sing it over the phone. We do it in two part harmony without accompaniment.

We learned it at least 30 years ago from a book entitled "62 Outrageous Songs" compiled by Jerry Silverman and published by Oak Publications in 1966. In this book it is called "The Balham Vicar" and there is no attribution except the words "as sung by John Pearse".

The words we use are quite close to those in the digital tradition database where it is called "The Country Vicar"

THE BALHAM VICAR

There once was a Balham vicar who said to his curate John,
"I bet I've had more women than you" and the curate said
"You're wrong! You're wrong!" and the curate said "you're wrong!"
"Well, we will stand outside the church this day and this will be our sign"
"You ding-a-ding for the women you've had,
and I'll ding-a-dong for mine, for mine
and I'll ding-a-dong for mine".

There were more ding-a-dings than ding-a-ding dongs
'till a pretty young bird come by
and the curate went ding-dong
"Oh", said the vicar "Don't ding-a-dong there
that's my wife I do declare"
"Hell" said the curate "I don't care" (spoken)
ding-a ding-dong ding-dong ding-dong
ding-a ding-a ding-a ding-dong.

Bev and Jerry