I don't think you'll get on - you are too nice.
Or if they do choose you, they will put you in with a right bastard who takes drugs and eats the wall paper, feeds his kids to the rotweiller, pisses on the salad for vinaigrette....

thats how they do these programmes, they stage a battle....

still its only for two weeks and you will be seen by all your pals on telly. You will be able to give a party with a screening. You may get some more gigs from it. You would be a local celebrity - if you did the pissing the salad - you could be a national celebrity.

what else would you be doing? there comes a time in the affairs of man when taken at the flood, or something.....

Tonight Matthew, I'm going to be Mad Folkie!