I think you're getting the hang of this, Mrs Duck. Purple hair and mung beans are just the sort of features they'd be looking for. It's just that you'd have to spend a fortnight (that's two weeks, you USians, OK?) with some tone-deaf truck-driver in a string vest, or possibly an obsessively tidy insurance salesman (no slur is intended on any vest-wearers, truck drivers or insurance men reading this).

As regards payment, it wouldn't surprise me if there was no payment, or only modest expenses. There seem to be plenty of people who will do anything just to get on the telly.

Anyway, just you get on with booking the morris sides and then you can send in your photo and CV to the BBC. I'm looking forward to the programme already ...

Marje