It might be quicker if we dispensed with the telly people altogether. There is plenty of room below the BS line to stage it live in cyberspace. I am sure that we could set up a couple of virtual houses down the road from the Mudcat Tavern and invent a couple of ridiculously named "Guests" to swap with.
Perhaps we could combine some "reality" shows with a few of the worst soap operas and include a few minor "celebrities" I've never heard of just for good measure.
                         INTRODUCING
The "I'm a Celebrity", Cook My Neighbours Garden in 60 minutes when he's away Factor.

Any other ideas?
Quack!
GtD.