Cuilionn,
It's interesting (and gratifying) to me that the "singable translation" by Varda Piper is so close to the translation I came up with.
There is one place where I take issue with Piper's translation:

In the last verse, the line "The Lorelei with her magic song has lured him to his death" fails to translate the idiom properly. German and some other languages use the definite pronoun "the" in front of proper names, but English doesn't.   "Die Lorelei" just refers to a maiden named "Lorelei." In English, we wouldn't call her "the Lorelei," just "Lorelei."

(There was a time when I thought "Die Lorelei" referred to a type of creature, such as "the sirens," instead of to someone's proper name.)

Genie