1. Pour a half-gallon or so of milk into the carpet. Close all the windows tightly and let it sit in the sun for a day or two. (We did this once by accident when a grocery bag fell over.)

2. Flood it.

3. My friend swears that the worst thing you can do to somebody's car is put hoof trimmings in the air vents. She says it smells rank and it's very hard to get the trimmings out again once you've put them in there. I've never disliked anyone enough to try this myself.