Once, after I'd been shopping, I managed to leave a head of broccoli behind in the boot (trunk) of my car where it lay undiscovered, for a couple of weeks, among all the rubbish (trash) that tends to accumulate in the boot of any car of mine. The smell got pretty bad until I eventually found the broccoli.

I once had a boss who was the most evil person I've ever met - a foul-mouthed bully. I sometimes used to dream up ways of getting revenge for the way he treated me and others in the department (but never actually put any of the plans into action). One such plan was as follows: this evil git was quite a heavy drinker and used to have a longish trip home down the motorway. I thought of putting a piece of tape across his rear numberplate so as to partially obscure it. The tape could be roughly stuck on, perhaps diagonally with a long trailing end, so that it would look as if it had been thrown up from the road or something. The rest of the plan then depended on the police stopping him for having an obscured rear numberplate and perhaps breathalysing him (?) ... no, it would probably not have worked - there probably wouldn't have been a policeman in sight (they're never around when you want one!).

Plan B was a bumper sticker reading "kill-a-cop-a-day".