Arthur Guiterman. 1871–

Strictly Germ-proof

THE Antiseptic Baby and the Prophylactic Pup        
Were playing in the garden when the Bunny gamboled up;        
They looked upon the Creature with a loathing undisguised;—        
It wasn't Disinfected and it wasn't Sterilized.        

They said it was a Microbe and a Hotbed of Disease;                 
They steamed it in a vapor of a thousand-odd degrees;        
They froze it in a freezer that was cold as Banished Hope        
And washed it in permanganate with carbolated soap.        

In sulphurated hydrogen they steeped its wiggly ears;        
They trimmed its frisky whiskers with a pair of hard-boiled shears;         10
They donned their rubber mittens and they took it by the hand        
And elected it a member of the Fumigated Band.        

There's not a Micrococcus in the garden where they play;        
They bathe in pure iodoform a dozen times a day;        
And each imbibes his rations from a Hygienic Cup—        
The Bunny and the Baby and the Prophylactic Pup.        

Sings well to just about any hornpipe.