My son was bullied in elementary school--to the point he ended up with a broken arm. The same boy who broke his arm was also bullying other children--and school personnel were completely unaware of it!

It was a really tough issue to deal with. We knew this boy was giving my son trouble, and from what my son was telling us, was bullying other children also (he was the leader of a little pack of boys), but my son didn't want us to talk to the school about it. He had tried talking to his teacher early on, who at one point called both boys out of class to try to address what she saw as simply a personality conflict. The result was an increase in the frequency and intensity of the bullying. They did not take it seriously until the broken arm. Only then did they begin to listen to and believe what he and we had been trying to tell them. This was a kid who cruised along under the radar screen. The school was totally unaware of his 'leadership' abililites and behavior on the playground or in the halls.

My husband is a bully. It is fear-based. I have worked very hard to do mitigation with my son and this helped him learn to stand up for himself without also becoming a bully in over-reaction.