I had a boss once who hit me on the head (from the back) while the whole day shift watched. I immediately stood up to face him and said QUITE firmly, "Don't you EVER do that again." He made a joke and walked off. I excused myself and went to the coffee room to let the adrenaline wear off-- the shakes, in privacy. The boss came in and, blocking the door in this small room, hit me again with a hard shot to the upper arm, telling me to relax-- he was just "kidding around." So much for assertive speech.

There was none of the lead-up, to this event, that one might have expected, and in the workplace he didn't display most of the other characteristics of bullies listed here, nor those of an abuser.

He and his partner owned the business, and I soon discovered that cocaine was a regular "aid to recreation" in the executive offices. I think he actually was so high that he had no idea how hard he had hit, or that it was inappropriate in the first place. Sure, I could have filed suit-- instead I simply moved on to a better job.

No one else there ever said a word to me about it, that day or later.

~Susan