(so to paraphrase Harry Enfield)

I'd say Oy! Mirren! You may be a mature sex godess what gets every male over 50 salivating like a one of them dogs what sailvate a lot, you might even a be good actress, and indeed that episode of prime Suspect when you got in bed with young black man and had it off was to my mind a classic of its kind of modern television drama.

But if I find you'd nicked my wallet, got the library ticket and taken out the maximum number of toffee nosed nosed books about about your pooftah luvvie friends and the pissed off to New York to subsidise an off broadway production of Oh Calcutta on the credit cards...

I'd say say Oy! Mirren! can I have a part....?