I've tried dust, oranges, fruit, jello, cement, steel, polyethylene, styrofoam, vinyl, leather, naugahyde, PVC, copper, rocks, dirt, humus, rice, banannas, arsenic, drugs, balls, epees, fog, asphalt, and rubber. I really thought wood would work, but it still doesn't do it.

Shame, really. I think it could be a pretty nice song. If I could get it to work I think that Tom Paxton would be a natural for singing it.