Yes.

Don't worry, no offence taken, I am more than willing to be challenged.

The problem with your being called GUEST is that I don't know if you are the same person who last adressed me using that moniker or somebody new, so I need to get to the point ASAP rather than risk being trolled.

Either way though, I am not afraid of an opposing point of view or a difficult question. I am honest and hopefully a little more than functionally literate too, so I will always give as full and fair an answer as I can.

The "letting her down" scenario is something that I predict will be the reality. There will be contact between them and that is a cold hard reality of life legally, no matter what I might try and do.

I will try and ensure that that contact is arranged in such a way that My daughter is as safe as possible from harmful influences.

It strikes me that contact being entirely denied would, apart from other reasons, be counterproductive anyway as it would not allow my daughter to develop her own view of her mother, and so she might be vulnerable to cock and bull stories from her down the line or manipulation as she begins to develop greater curiosity on the subject of our family breakdown and the reasons for it.

I have heard it said that children often develop resentment towards the parent who has sheltered them if they feel they have been unfairly denied a relationship with the absent parent. This is a factor that mother could in future manipulate to her own advantage at potential risk to daughters welfare.

"Daddy was wrong, there was nothing wrong with the way I behaved, it was just a bit of harmless this and that and the other and nothing to feel bad about. Here why don't you rebel and show just how off track he really was, cos it would sure perk me up and take away some of those feelings of guilt to know that you think it's all ok, and ultimately I put me not having to feel bad above my responsibilities to you."

With contact, she would (especially in later life) have the opportunity to see how the words and the actions don't match up and would be able to form a deeper, better informed, more realistic impression of her mom.

My function as an absolutely reliable and stable factor in my daughters life will hopefully be the main preventative remedy to that problem.

I must ensure that I foster a great relationship with her and do my best to listen to all her concerns properly so that 1. I don't become out of touch with her life, needs and concerns and 2. so that she always has somewhere to go and somebody to talk to. Feeling secure and confident within herself are the real key to her happiness.

I know that this is every parents ideal scenario and that many parents who think they are doing a great job in this respect can wake up one day to find that they have been living in cloud cuckoo land. Hopefully though, by making it a priority , having an open mind and being prepared to learn rather than believing that I know it all, I will be able to offer the kind of emotional support and provide the healthy grounding that my daughter is likely to need in future. It is an ongoing process and the groundwork began yesterday (and the day before that).

Oh yes, and - sorry to be pedantic but -

"As regards my responsibilities to the NHS, I think I will wait till my situation has simmered down before committing to anything, though I agree that I cannot ignore them in good conscience"

does not equate to:

"you didn't feel strong enough to stand up for the NHS."

My daughter provides me with inexhaustable endurance and determination by merely existing. The NHS question has more to do with legal practicalities and timing.