1. Sex: Me, or the bananna? I'm male. Banannas look male, but looks can be deceiving, ya know.

2. I usually peel the bananna while eating it, not before. That helps insure that I get more bananna than the swarm of fruit flies that is bound to be hovering around it. It also makes it easier to reseal it if, after two bites, I decide I really wanted a cookie instead.

3. I eat banannas from the stem end toward the blossom end. I usually slice through the stem with my trusty Kershaw Ken Onion "Chive" model pocket knife. It is the only logical way to eat them. There are spiders that sometimes bore into the blossom end of banannas and build their nests in there. If you peel from the blossom end the spider might jump out and bite you. If you start eating at the stem you'll notice the discoloration that indicates something is amiss with the bananna and you'll stop eating it before taking a mouthful of spider.

4. "Do you eat it round and round, end to end "typewriter style", or bit off bits in a linear fashion?" No, I just eat the goddammed thing.