Anyway I was in The Bull this afternoon when Joe starts on me about the ghost of Willow Farm. "Joe", I says, "Give it a rest. I've just come in for a quiet pint and I've got you in one ear and Linda in the other, trying to get me to play Grumpy in the panto. I'm just not interested Joe, go and get your pigs in" (little does he know me and a mate will be setting them free later in the week tee-hee). "Have you finished your chores for the day IWTATBM?" says Joe. "What chores", says I?" "A pint of Shires" says Joe. Fell for that old one. He's a crafty old devil that Joe Grundy, always strutting around the village with a microphone in his hand and a story in the other. Why do they all have microphones around here? So, I buys him a pint and, oh, I've got to go 'cos I've just seen David and I want to chat to him about a rumour that Susan's spreading. Can't say any more, said too much already.

They've never given me a microphone.