The very IDEA that I would post something without attribution!

I am offended, sir, deeply offended.

I would have my friends call upon you if I had any. Instead, I have given your name and address to three members of the Legion (Larry, Moe, and Steeple Sam The Big Tall Man) and they will demand satisfaction, if they ever get that far. If they do finally find you and cannot get satisfaction they would post you as an arrant coward and knave, bald-faced liar, a low-down bushwhacking rattlesnake, and someone who tosses his hat on a bed if they were literate and could remember to do so.

(Why is there an ad for polybutylene pipe and no-dig pipe lining at the bottom? I no longer smoke a pipe or anything else.)