It's already here on another thread, but here ya' go anyway!

WHALE OF A TALE (Gimbel/Hoffman)

In "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea," Kirk Douglas amuses the crew of his ship with this bawdy little number. You too can be witty when singing this in your pool or bathtub.

CHORUS: I've a whale of a tale to tell you, lad,
A whale of a tale or two,
About the flapping fish, and the girls I've loved,
And nights like this with the moon above,
A whale of a tale and it's all true,
I swear by my tattoo,

There was Mermaid Minnie; met her down in Madagascar,
She would kiss me, anytime that I would ask her,
Then one evening, her flame of love blew out,
Well blow me down and pick me up, she swapped me for a trout! CHORUS.

There was Typhoon Tessie; met her off the coast of Java,
When she kissed me, I'd bubble up like molten lava,
Then she gave me the scare of my young life,
Well blow me down and pick me up, she was the Captain's wife! CHORUS.

There was Harpoon Hannah; had a face that'd make you shudder,
Lips like fishhooks, and a nose just like a rudder,
If I kissed her, and held her tenderly,
Then there's no sea monster big enough, to ever frighten me! CHORUS.


Spaw