Not a mention. NOT A MENTION. Well hardly, one little line at the bottom of the back page of the Echo, "…and the winner of the modern tractor ploughing competition was IWTATBM." And old 'Fry-up' (he hates being called that), gets a half-page photo for driving a Dinky toy. Can you believe it? Still, did you see the photo? Caught mid cough with his tongue sticking out - silly old duffer. I don't know why they don't get rid of the engine on them old Fergies and just put in a set of peddles. Oh, and I saw old llama bum and told her straight about the panto, "I'm just not interested Linda, get it?" I said. Then she told me straight and now I'm third assistant backstage director. You know I'm glad I discovered this site. Didn't know why I was always one of the last to know the gossip in the village. And I see you're all using aliases, very wise. I suppose I should have done that, but what the hell, I'm used to taking stick; it's not easy being the only vegetarian in the village. And Terrier, I was in the pub, but took a sharp exit when you waltzed in, on the scrounge as usual. Hang on, someone's shouting me… "You what Bert?.... Oh, a pint of Shires please. You're a true gentlemen me old friend, I've always said so."

Anyway, got to go.