I'm in my late fifties and I always ask. A person who is extremely dear to me (and yes, I asked him if he was going to be my lover) has a mantra, "don't die wondering". A very good reminder of our fleeting moments of life and our mortality. Kissing is just, well, kissing. These days it holds no more than that unless someone moves it along to something else. Might as well be you. Making love is also no more than that, making love, unless someone wants - and asks - for it to be something else. Kisses don't equal love or a relationship, making love doesn't equal love or a relationship. What is it you want? Sex/making love, a relationship, bonking buddy? You gotta realise everything is negotiable 'cos you are both human and can both talk. The 'lady' bit died a bloody long time ago I think. You're grown up - ask for what you want - negotiate it. If you are rejected, then handle it. It's not such a big deal when negotiation is the name of the game. A potential lover is also a potential best friend. All through this I'm tempted to say, don't be pathetic, but that sounds a bit mean. But a bit of backbone girl! You ain't 16, sweet and shy (whatever that is!). You are a woman fullgrown in all your glory and able to work out what you want and ask for it, and also handle it graciously if you don't get it.