Cripes. Couldnt find this thread for two days after my post.
Thought I had said something to cause it to be deleted myself.
Thanks for the sympathetic replies. I mean that.
Yes, we are still "together" but only in body.
We do not communicate. And that is probably the underlying reason for our present trouble.
My biggest problem is that Depression makes you realise that your own brain can be your worst enemy.
You have relied upon it for your whole life, then WHAMMO - it kicks you in the nuts. Telling you things that you know are not true, but in such a way that you believe all.
Pills? Yes, I have been prescribed pills, but they dont appear to help. Was it the pills that made me stay with my errant wife, by damping my natural reaction to leave?
Or is my depression winning out by driving me even deeper into the abyss I am busy constructing for myself?
That is my most pressing fear.
If I DO leave home & family, I will have nothing, and after 30yrs of marriage I have become useless at fending for myself.
There lies the "dark tunnel" as I would rather end my life than go down the slow road of self destruction that would be my lot, thanks.
(Note to Joe. Please feel free to delete this post if you feel it is in any way likely to cause trouble - I shall carry on posting to other threads in my real ((mudcatter)) name)