Cute one, Jacqui!

GUS THE MAGIC DRAG QUEEN
(Modern Love)
Ethan Daniel Davidson

Gus the magic drag queen lived in 5-C
And he frolicked in the local bars in a dress by Versace
Little Jackie Paper was a poor, young, lonely lad
And his skills at attracting the female sex really were quite bad
Jack came from the suburbs, hadn't seen too much
He didn't know from rubber breasts, which felt real to his touch

Oh Gus the magic drag queen lived in 5-C
And he frolicked in the local bars in a dress by Versace

One night Jack was drinking
at the Judy Garland pub
When Gus waltzed in like Joan Crawford
and Jack fell hard in love
When he saw this fair creature,
he thought he'd take a chance
So Jack bought his love a Chardonnay
and asked Gus for a dance

Oh Gus the magic drag queen lived in 5-C
And he always wore Lee Press-On Breasts and his purse was by Gucci

Well I guess you know where this is going
considering what this song's abou
t And well I guess Gus wasn't gussied up enough
and so Jack soon found him ou
t And I guess if there's a moral
it's that love can be confusing in our modern world
So you can imagine Gus's great surprise
when he found out that Jack was really a girl

Yes, Jack the lonely drag king lived by the sea
And she frequented the local bars in a suit by Armani
Jack was born a female and had been so all her life
But she dressed like a man and acted like a man and had been looking for a wife
So it didn't work out between Gus and Jack,
though they have remained as close friends
Jack lives alone by the side of the sea,
and Gus married an Oakland Raiders tight end

Gus the magic drag queen lived in 5-C
And he frequented the local bars in a dress by Versace

Gus the magic drag queen lived in 5-C
And she frequented the local bars in a dress by Versace