Dear Mister Paire:

My client wishes to advise you of the following relevant information regarding your recent threat to him contained in your recent post on this thread.

1. He does not now, nor has he ever, sucked soap in any way which would qualify for your derogatory definition of him as "soap-sucking".

2. Driving on freeways in an inherent responsibility for all active members of modern Western civilization in reach of an urban center.

3. He is not now, nor has he ever been, in any relationship with any slugs, present comapny excepted.

4. He wishes to further advise you that a failure to manage your time allocation on this mortal coil on your part in no way constitutes any form or kind of emergency on his own part and disclaims all responsibiliity for decisions you made while clicking on blue clickies included in his post or any sequelae thereto of a logical, electronic, or cybernetic nature.

5. As regards the return of time you have spent in idle pursuit of merely intellectual riches while deferring your responsibilities relative to the County Prosecutor's office, he offers only his sympathies and invites you to state a financial valuation attached to any considered lopping of his natural life-span, keeping in mind that the value attached to the increments thereto is always exponentially augmented in proportion to the proximity to the distal end of such life-span.

With kindest regards,

Les Fugouiup Cannoui, Partner
Cannaoui, Scruiem and Goode, Attornys at Law