Well, Callie, good morning!

Your cheeriness matches my own today. Let's see now...

Whilst people assemble and wait, or arrive late, fish for kleenex, look to see who paid for the biggest floral arrangement, etc: "Please Don't Bury Me" over and over until it's time for the emcee, er, minister, I mean, to begin.

Singalong hymn substitutes:

"Jennie Jenkins" but the attendees MUST make up verses -- in fact, maybe each person, upon arrival, mysteriously received a small card with a colour on it, but no clue yet as to why. You know, kind of an ice breaker, in case the opening theme doesn't bring on a serious case of the giggles. Not enough colours? Just look at what they name paints...

"Let's Not Just Have a Sniffle" With all the verses a Mudcat thread can conjur. Plus a few more if those present feel creative.

Recessional: "Art Thou Troubled?" A lovely song by the inimitable Georg Frideric Handel. If I'm dead, then it seems fair that one song die too, so it MUST be played by bagpipes and organ! Yes, together. No offence intended to pipers or organists. I simply cannot imagine those instruments pulling off the dynamics necessary for this gem.

Please, no private e-mails about how am I doing. Much better now, thanks. This thread is very therapeutic. Thanks Callie. Gotta go write my codicil now. (Just kidding, honey.)