Posting with Civility-A DailyKos Selected Comment Collage #2

"What happened?
I don't know I wasn't here before: was it truly a garden of Eden?...

When an atmosphere of incivility persists (as in Washington politics, as in many of the impeachment discussions here), is it really that surprising that non-fact based charges are hurled and cheap, sarcastic putdowns become the order of the day? Civility once lost is hard to regain but if it is regained, it is a sure sign that the mutual respect that your diary calls for is really here.
by EdSF on Sat Dec 30, 2006

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"emotional entrenchment -
Someone accused me of something.

I asked for proof.

They couldn't provide proof.

They refused to withdraw the accusation.

They still haven't.

They're emotions and ego won't let them.

Nobody called them on it, at least no one they 'respected enough' to listen to.

Since this was someone who prides thenselves on upholding community standards, it discredits the whole notion of community standards. In fact it establishes a double standard.

If the oldtimers and their allies want a standard upheld they have to uphold it themselves, as examples. They also have to TEACH the standards, not yell them at people.

Has anyone here ever had their mind changed by someone who was screaming in their face and calling them names?

What it comes down to is that if the 30,000 want dkos to be a certain way they have to figure out how to make it that way.

That is vey tough to do when 40,000 people join in the 6 months leading up to an election.....when as is discussed above, standards are different.

But really, it's on the noobs to conform to the standards, but its up to the old timers to define, adhere to, and EFFECTIVELY enforce those standards.
by buhdydharma on Sat Dec 30, 2006

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"I am offended by ANY incivility.
I beleive it's possible to engage in vigorous debates and maintain a modicum of respect.

Offense isn't the issue. I know you are well aware that people express themselves differently in cyberspace (eww, that word) than in the real world. They take liberties and go to extremes. Most would never even contemplate saying such things to another person's face. And most of us actually agree with each other on many more issues than we disagree, making these fueds truly ridiculous.

But this diary suggests that you are taking these attacks to heart much more than I ever thought you would, and much more than they deserve to be. I'm sure you could have (and probably did) respond in the thread where it occurred. That's enough. This diary is an escalation that seems out of proportion to me.

Do the people that allegedly assassinated your character really have that much control and influence on you?

Debates will rage here. But that sense of detachment you feel online - It's real! We are not bound to these avatars. I just think you're making too much of this when you imply that the community is coming apart.

The community is evolving, and always will be. The old generation will fear the values of the new, just like in the real world. But they are not frightening, they are just new. Roll with it or turn in to the old man that yells at the kids to get off of his lawn".
KingOneEye on Sat Dec 30, 2006

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"I hope it does not cause you too much distress when people you are never likely to meet, and will have no effect on your life, disparage your character.

I mean that. I hope it didn't sound flip".
by KingOneEye

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"I certainly don't view this as some random blog with strangers yelling at each other.

The people on here are REAL, their concerns and views are VALID. I trust the analysis of many here, and I'm proud to have met some good friends on here...

The problem is exactly what you express. If people view this as a place to come and shout at each other, than we've lost the community".
by nhcollegedem on Sat Dec 30, 2006

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"I try to remember to consider whether I would have the stones to say to someone's face what I say in comments.

Sometimes I forget to do that, and regret it later. But usually I know that if I run into someone at, say, YearlyKos I can look them in the eye with a clear conscience.

There are people behind these UIDs. I love this place, and feel I have much, much more in common with everyone that hangs out here, than not.

Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength. --Eric Hoffer"
by Sharoney on Sat Dec 30, 2006

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"in response to the question [where are veteran members?]
banned or run off or burnt out, some of them many of us check in, but less often, having grown tired of fighting the same sort of battles. at any rate, i don't see any of this rancour as particularly new. just a product of one site with many very different and often mutually exclusive visions of what we ought to be doing here, without any way of finding a working consensus, and with a group culture built up over several years that delights in shouting down dissenting voices and seeing trolls behind every curtain.

while a lot of truly worthwhile talking goes on here, trust exists only in pockets, between those people who have put the time in to build it up despite strong disagreements at times. there really is no other way to accomplish it, from what i can tell, online and off-, and any site with a constant influx of new people is going to have difficulty establishing that trust anew, day in and day out.

it's not impossible, but it is hard, especially with faceless sparring partners and times as bleak as these. every site struggles with it, just as every community does. eugene is right, though; the core problem is fear and lack of trust".
by wu ming on Sat Dec 30, 2006

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"Speaking as a newbie, this place can only be "better" than it once was, just different. How that difference is managed to the continue the success here seems to me to be the question at hand.
by Terra Mystica on Sun Dec 31, 2006

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"...The solution isn't for us to divide ourselves up into little siloed sub-communities, composed of people who agree with one another. The solution is for us to argue and criticize in a constructive way, because we realize that our world views, while different on many particulars, are fundamentally similar.
by StupidAsshole on Sat Dec 30, 2006

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"Some times I think people take this Meta stuff a bit too far, but you are 100% right. Holding certain opinions does not make you a bad person. In fact, the reason I spend so much time here is to hear things from many unique perspectives. I understand that these are really trying times overall. The war, corruption, New Orleans, and so on all are truly terrible. That tends to make people overstate what they have to say, and be overly sensitive to differing opinions. We all get that.

We just need to remember that this site is what inflames the passions of so many of us. So, we need to keep the name calling and personal attacks for somewhere other then Kos. Nothing will destroy this thing faster then it devolving into a "you suck" chamber.

Please don't make this personal...THANKS!"
by jah4168 on Sat Dec 30, 2006

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"We are most likely to have more similarities
of opinion than core differences.......many of us, that is.

Many here, myself included, sometimes post based on reaction rather than reason. That seems fairly typical.
….
I wish all posters a very Happy New Year, and hope we can maintain enough civility in the New Year to occasionally just agree to disagree"

[sorry somehow I didn't capture this blogger's name and as there are now almost 500 post in that diary, I can't find that particular post and yet I very much agree with it.