Today, our 17 year old cat was put to sleep. She had been declining the last year or so. We first noticed her weight climbing up and the vet discovered a thyroid problem. Because of her age, he advised pills instead of an operation. Then she began urinating on a carpet in the living room. We could not break her of the habit, so we purchased a second litter box and put a few newspapers in it. She would use this box only to pee. Two months ago we noticed blood in the urine. An ultrasound revealed a small tumor on her kidney and another in her urinary tract. This time the vet advised an operation. The operation took place at the beginning of December, and we were so happy when the results came back negative and she was given a clean bill of health. The vet said she could be around several more years.

Over the last week we noticed that she was acting funny.   She began sleeping in the upstairs bathroom sink. At first we were amazed because before the operation she would not walk upstairs. We thought she was regaining her strength and doing things that she did not do in years. (In retrospect, she was probably doing something that animals are known to do - go off by themselves to find a place to die.) We noticed that she wasn't eating. She was thin before the operation, but it looked like she was losing more weight. Her eyes had a hollow look to them. She would just sit and stare at walls before getting up and moving to another spot. Last night my wife noticed that her back legs were shaking.

A emergency trip to the vet revealed that she was in critical condition and failing fast. Her blood pressure was dangerously low. They did another scan and were able to determine that her liver was now failing - although they could not figure out why.   They kept giving her intravenous fluids to bring the blood pressure back, but nothing worked. About an hour ago, we made the decision to put our dear friend out of her misery.

This cat became a member of our family at a very special time. My wife and I were married in 1985 and we had another cat. This cat was like a child to us.   When my wife was pregnant with our daughter, we discovered that the cat had cancer. It was a crushing blow.   So, in 1990 we got another cat - that cat that we said goodbye to today.   This cat grew up with my daughter and my son, who joined the clan in 1995. We all loved this cat and there was never a question that we would do everything we could to save her.

We do have another cat, who joined us a few years ago. These animals are truly special to us. Spaw asked the question, why are we so nuts over out pets? Our pets love us without conditions. They are there to come home to each night and give us comfort when the world is beating us up. We can complain to them and they will listen. We can reach out for companionship and they will respond. Even though our family is close and we rely on each other, having the cats as part of our family means a great deal. All they ask is for a square meal and an occasional scratch.

I am sitting here after a good long cry getting this out of my system. Whether a cat is a newborn or an older cat like mine, we become attached to them for honest reasons. We hated to say goodbye, and we questioned ourselves if we did the right thing. In the end, we realized that allowing her to continue to suffer was not right. The doctor assured us that we did the right thing, and even if we brought her in sooner there was nothing that could have saved her.

The important thing to remember is that life is full of circles. I can guarantee you that we will soon get another cat - not as a "replacement" for our old friend, but to continue the circle and to give another animal a home and companionship.

My old friend will be missed terribly. She was good friend.