Every family with a disabled child has to make their own decisions based on their personal circumstances. The decision made by Ashley's parents will probably keep her from having to be institutionalized in later years, when she might have grown too big for her mother to handle at home. It is usually better for people to be cared for by family members who love them rather than hired caretakers.

I knew a family with a similar situation--a child unable to move at all, with a mental age of three months, as a result of previously unknown congenital hydrocephalous. At two years, he was a big husky kid. It was projected that he might not make it past age 5, since the doctor figured he would probably eventually contract pneumonia as a result of being unable to move. He asked the parents, "How agressive do you want me to be when that happens?" They were appalled at all the available choices. They had wanted a big family, but had concluded they could never have any more children, since a boy would have a 50% chance of having the same disorder, and a girl would have a 50% chance of being a carrier. The fetus at that time could not be tested (it was about 15 years ago, don't know about tech advances since then), so their only option would be to abort any boy, and they weren't comfortable with that. I haven't seen them in all this time, and don't know what ultimately happened, but based on his size at age 2, it's a sure bet that if that kid is still alive, his mother can no longer lift him.

For the record, I had an amnio before my son was born, which was normal. The cause of his developmental disability is still unknown.We are fortunate in that his disability is not as severe as Ashley's or a number of his classmates, and he is having a pretty fun life. So ya get what ya get--and we like him.