AM - It sounds like you are very clear about the needs of your son. Good start and hats off to you for making the break and deciding to focus on what is best for him. Its not easy.

Its best if you and your ex can agree on custody arrangements but if that fails, mediation works quite well. Find a lawyer who specializes in mediated settlements (they usually have a partner who will take it to court if necessary).

I'm glad you see the need for a father/son relationship. Dad can still remain an active and involved member of parental decisions and responsibilities. Although my children lived with me while growing up, they had an on-going relationship with dad. Now that they are adults, they are glad that we functioned as judicial parents regardless of the fact that we lived separately. Expectations are important and as long as you both give your child the same message, he will be able to adjust to the separation.

Good luck on your road to happiness.