The choice thing is great. I do that all the time with my First Day School kids (many of whom are well-practiced at parent/child power struggles). They get A or B--I don't care which, they can choose. If they don't, they get handed back over to their parents, who will either make them sit quietly or take them home. They don't get to do whatever the rest of the kids are doing. They shape up very quickly when everyone else is doing something interesting and they can't because they hit somebody or threw a tantrum and locked horns with me.

Furthermore, none of these children are at all afraid of me. Even the most difficult ones rarely give me any trouble any more, and they look for me first thing when they get to meeting. One in particular is a very high-strung, temperamental, needy, little boy and is pretty much an attention sink, but it's paid off very well to go the extra mile with him and has ended a lot of the issues teachers were having with him.