It's easy to judge overwhelmed parents' actions-in-the-moment by the light of our own best sense.

I've intervened when I see things like what MBSLynne described, not to punish the parents but to either give them a break by helping entertain a bored child, or by sympathizing with the parent about how much they hate it when they get that tough-- responding to them with the attitude that OF COURSE they know that isn't the best way to act with their child. You would be surprised how well they do actually know that. I've played many a game of peekaboo with kids in the cashier line who were acting out and whose parents were beyond tense, with the frank gratitude of the parents.

One day, arriving at my sister's city apartment, parking in the alley, I heard a beating going on in a nearby apartment. It echoed all down the alley, "Mama, please, stop! I'm SORRY! That hurts!" I found the apartment-- thank God for back stairs. I knocked until Mama answered. The first thing out of my mouth: "I KNOW you do NOT want ANYONE to EVER hurt your precious baby." She grabbed me in a hug and sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed. "I'm just so tired," she sobbed. When she had gotten most of it out, we talked about where and how to get help, and I talked to her daughter as well.

I have also called Family Services when it seemed clear that any intervention would only bounce back onto the child (or mother) if I stepped in-- I don't mean to imply we shoud always step in personally.

My point is, parents need help and support, not us preaching at them when they are in no position to take it in. And before they can use ANY form of "Parent Ed," they need to be offered support for how hard it really is to raise kids.

~Susan