Hi, Mom! Today is

Nice Day!!!

Yes, when people tell you to "Have a Nice Day!" this is the day they're talking about! Nice Day is the day when we observe the importance of the French city of Nice. Yeah, we know it's pronounced like "niece", but it's not our problem if supermarket cashiers are ignorant. Nice is the fifth largest city in France, with a population of 993,000 people, and is hot shit with people who believe spending money to turn brown is a prerequisite for Nirvana. Nice is near Cannes and Monaco where people with even more money waste it on similarly ill-conceived attempts at self-actualization.

Have a Nice Day!