I'm no spank - sons are now 19 and 15 and wonderful.

I've always thought that this argument is backwards. Noone ever seems to debate whether you should or shouldn't reward good behaviour, I presume that it is such an obvious thing that people would never bother to discuss it (strange perhaps though why people so rarely seem to practice it - even management gurus make huge amounts of money suggesting people have 'one minute praises' etc but you only have to look round workplaces to see how rarely people take notice). Everything is always focused on a reaction to bad behaviour. Perhaps if people thought more about good behaviour rather than bad then it might help the bad behaviour.

In the Uk I was always amused by the definition of ASDA (a supermarket now part of Walmart group) as the place that parents take their children to hit them, and I reckon that supermarkets and roads are two of the best places to watch people's behaviour and how much they take notice of the bad and how little (generally) they take notice of the good.

Bonk... (oops, fallen off my soapbox)