Irishman: "Nice dog you got there, Jimmy. Mind if I speak to him?"
Scotsman: "Ach, yer daft, my dog doesn't talk."
Irishman: "Hello to ya, Master dog and how's it going this fine day?"
Dog: "Goin' alright."

Scotsman: Look of shock!!

Irishman: "Is this Scotsman your owner?" pointing at Scotsman
Dog:: "Yep"
Irishman: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "He treats me jus' fine. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great
food, And takes me to the river once a week to play."

Scotsman: Look of total disbelief

Irishman: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Scotsman: looking a bit tentative, "My horse doesn't talk."
Irishman: "Hello there horse, and how is it going for you today?"
Horse: "Couldn't be better!" exclaimed the horse joyfully.

Scotsman: Extreme look of shock!!!!

Irishman: "Is this your owner? "pointing at Scotsman
Horse: " 'tis"
Irishman: "And how does he treat you?"
Horse: "He treats me very well, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly,
brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the
elements."

Scotsman: Total look of utter amazement

Irishman: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Scotsman: "Now that sheep's a liar."