Pat, turn to Mudcat, life is for living and you are not alone even if you feel lost on your own. There is always someone here for you. My Dad died in 1984 on his 66th Birthday. It was such a shock and my grief took me by surprise but there are so many happy memories to make me smile. Hold on to your memories. Cry if you feel like crying - it is such a release of emotion you WILL feel better.    ((((HUGS))))
Hazel. x