WOMEN OVER FORTY

This is a piece [NOT] written by Andy Rooney - CBS 60 Minutes.

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just
a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will not lay next to you in bed and
ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman
over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining
about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something
more interesting. A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured
in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past
the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match
with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of
course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think
they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often
undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. A woman over 40
has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger
woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't
trust the guy with other women. Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're
attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a
woman over 40. They always know.

A woman over 40 looks good wearing
bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her
younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell
you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever
have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for
a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every
stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy
relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 18-year-old
waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the
cow when you can get the milk for free." Here's an update for you.
Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize:
it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.