- How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

- How young can you die of old age?

- A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

- I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.

- I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out."

- I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking", but I don't have that much time.

- I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

(And there's more where that lot came from!)