There's more, there's more:

- The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

- I got stopped for speeding. I said: "Officer, I know I was going faster than 60 Miles Per Hour, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour".

- I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.

- I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

- I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.

- A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. She said: "You didn't borrow this." I said: "I will."

- When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.

- Sponges grow in the ocean. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen?

- If a word in the dictionary were mis-spelled, how would we know?