Darling lass, whom I adore,
I will promise not to snore,
Welcome to my bed, dear heart,
If you promise not to fart.

Thus we both will merry be
(I'll be careful when I pee)
And imbibe from passion's cup!
(Not to leave the seat stood up)

While away each loving hour,
(Put the soap back, when you shower!)
Share our joys and share our pain,
(Don't leave pubies in the drain).

Play with me in Cupid's pit,
(Leave the fan on when you shit).
And let me share your precious soul.
(When it's empty, change the roll!)

Let us now, while we are young
Learn to speak in true love's tongue,
And delight in passion sweet!
(But you it is who'll wash the sheets.)

Pragmaticum Delirium
Songs of Love and Reality
Backbender and Drudge, New Bedford, 1957