You may recall. sir, how dark it was and how disoriented you were as we escaped from that blue-collar dive of a motel and made our way north on I-5 to civilization -- or you would otherwise have noticed the sturdy hills and the clever change in elevation between my humble and cozy abode and the nearby coast. As I see it, global warming is going to give me a lovely piece of beachfront property, with the ocean just close enough to run down and bathe in in the tropical dawns ahead.

A