Barky, Do you know "Constipation Blues?" Not heard on the radio quite enough. A few words and a lot of grunting to 12-bar blues. A little comic delivery and you're a star.

Caution: this advice is certaily worth what you paid for it!

But seriously, if you're dead nervous, go with something that's a no-brainer for you, and sing it with all your heart. Make sure to have a copy of the lyrics in large print, 16 point or so, in case your nerves give you a brain fade. Practise a few times with the lyrics in front of you if you're used to doing it from memory.

If you're having trouble identifying that no-brainer song, here's a little "let's pretend" to help you get on track. Let's pretend that now, RIGHT NOW, while you're reading this, in walks the musician or producer of your dreams with a request for you to audition for them RIGHT NOW. Don't think, man, just sing and sing well -- you want that dream job, don't you? That song'll probably work for you on the radio.

Another option: get a vocalist. If you're in the Toronto area, I'll do it. No kidding. The only condition is that since we've never played together before, eye contact must be available during the song. Even Buffalo, since I have friends in St Cath who'll surely put me up to cut down the driving time.