It's quite clear that our American cousins have won this competition on both quantity and variety of product (Aeroplane Jelly I definitely need!). However I would submit that in our own understated British way we have some quality gems tucked away. The cigarette brand of immortal memory namely 'Anchor' had a suitably folksy jingle (to the tune of 'What shall we do with a drunken sailor") which led to rather predictable parodies over which it is best to draw a veil. It went like this - "A man at sea will often hanker for the flavour of an Anchor - so much satisfation".

By the way I believe that the revolutionary new carpet material that Cyril Lord was imploring us to buy was 'Enkalon'...presumably made from the wool of the Enk?