Some years ago, when I was living in the Middle East, I bought a battered ten-year-old Range Rover. I had so much trouble with the bloody thing I ended up writing this (to the tune of Wild Rover):

I've had a Range Rover for many's the year
And I've spent all my money on sprockets and gears
But now I'm returning with rials galore
I never will drive that Range Rover no more

And it's no, nay, never
No nay never no more
Will I drive that Range Rover
No never no more

I went to a garage I used to frequent
And I told the mechanic my camshaft was bent
I aske him to fix it, he answered me "Nay"
Saying "If I were you, I'd just chuck it away".

Chorus

Then out of my pocket I pulled rials bright
And the mechanic's eyes opened wide with delight
Saying "That'll do nicely, I'll see what I can do,
and then it might last you a fortnight or two".

Chorus

I'll go back to the garage, confess what I've done,
I drove to Herne Bay on two wheels just for fun,
And if they repair it as oft times before.
Then I might have to drive that bloody Range Rover once more

Chorus