We had a busker outside in the marketplace on market day the other week. He was on guitar, amplified, and we could hear him clear as day inside the foyer of the town hall.

It quickly became clear that English was not his first language, and I'm afraid that the amplification made his mangling of the lyrics even more evident.

The box office staff and I were nearly wetting ourselves, particularly as he crucified Dire Straits' Romeo and Juliet:

"SHOOOliet, nedise was olded frommesssart
Bummibet, an you essoded immiheart..."

Ooooh, but we were entertained! And at least it wasn't flippin' pan pipes...