I drove a landrover for many a year
But just couldn't get the thing out of first gear
I longed to off-road but I couldn't leave town
Cos it wouldn't go uphill it only went down

So I went to a garage I used to frequent
And told the head salesmen I wanted a Bent(ly)
He found me a banger, all rust and decay
Said customise that and you'll be on your way

I went back to my parents, parked it in the porch
And set to work with my acetaline torch
I added a tailfin, some wings and a jet
And everyone said it's the best Bently yet

I drove it to Paris, to Moscow and Rome
And then I got bored so I drove it back home
Parked it up close on the Landrover's patch
Poured petrol on both and then tossed in a match

I have a much better Landrover now.

(True, I do have a song about Eleanor Thornton, model for the Spirit of Ecstasy, who was on the Persia with her lover Lord Beaulieu when she was torpedoed in the Med in 1016. He survived, she didn't lyrics and mp3)