I helped my ex-husband's second wife organise his predominantly secular funeral (yes - it's possible, and her and I remain very close friends!) and it was the most beautiful funeral I have ever attended. It opened and closed with classical music on CD, and included counter tenor Andreas Scholl on CD singing The Salley Gardens, we sang a version of St Francis's prayer 'Make me a an instrument of your Peace', had Irish music (can't remember which tunes now!) on flute and bodhran, had that lovely Irish blessing read out 'May the road rise up to meet you ... etc', Taffy Thomas told the lovely story of 'Death and the Nut' with its moral that in order to have life we need to have death, and our son spoke about his father, selecting a song to illustrate his feelings: Roy Bailey's 'You can be anybody you want to be', with its last lines 'And the only measure of your words and deeds, will be the love you leave behind you when you're done' really saying it all.

It was a perfect occasion because it suited the person, and was a celebration of a life, as all the best funerals are.

For myself, there's so much I want it's going to be a full length concert programme, but the highlights will be Vaughan Williams' Thomas Tallis Fantasia, The Parting Glass and that lovely hymn we have for all family weddings or funerals (because it fits all): Lord of All Hopefulness ... set to the tune of that hauntingly beautiful Irish song The Banks of the Bann. That should set them all weeping. Serve them right!