Here's my suggestion for a right-wing folk song:

A CONSERVATIVE'S LAMENT
(Or "Life's a Bitch When You're Rich")

I woke up one morning not long ago
Checked out the market on my IPO
My heart almost sputtered
When I discovered
I was suddenly loaded with dough, with dough,
I was suddenly loaded with dough

CHORUS: But life's a bitch when you're rich
And you have more than you can use
Cause you have to pay taxes,
Car payments on your Lexus,
And don't forget your country club dues.

I fired my housekeeper yesterday
She complained so much there was hell to pay
She wanted more money
But I told her "Honey,
I already pay you twenty dollars a day, a day.
I already pay you twenty dollars a day."

CHORUS

I laid off all our company's workers
They were a bunch of snot-nosed shirkers
Now our factory's in China
The work's done by minors
Kept in line by a phalanx of Gurkhas
Tough Gurkhas
Our middle managers now are all Gurkhas.

CHORUS

I used to worry about the poor
The lame, the elderly, what they had in store.
But now I just dream of
A brand new scheme of
Making money and how to make more
Make more
I need money and then I'll need more.


Okay, it isn't very good, but I guess that's my point. There aren't conservative or right-wing folk singers because their songs would stink.