Dear Sirs:

I believe I have met Dolor in my many travels but I know nothing of his other partners.

I feel I cannot, in good faith, honor your pretentious and swaggering demand, as I have sound reason to believe that you, yourselves, are a mere figment of Rapaire's perfervid and often misguided imaginings.

Should he so move you as to fulfill your dull-witted banderlog threat, I shall bring evidence to show it was lodged under false pretences by a fictitious entity who, as such, has no standing in a suit against a corporeal entity.

Furthermore, should you in some slimy, underhanded and vicious manner seek to declaim such grounds or see them overthrown, I shall rejoin and rebut on the irrefutable grounds that the author -- whom you claim to represent -- is himself a fictitious entity, albeit a far subtler one, derived from my own creative fiores and no other source. As your representations are therefore in the interest of a fictitious entity, should you somehow manage to persuade any part of the Court to your case, I shall countersue for fraud (suit on behalf of a non-corporeal entity) and shall pay all fees and damages I may incur with money of the same kind, borrowed from my daughter's Monopoly box. As, indeed, are ALL his works published and otherwise, his publishers, their pages and coverboards, and all their readers with two exceptions amongst which you may not number yourselves.

I remain, Sirs, your humble and devoted servant,

A. H. Jessup