It ain't so bad. I've been there and it ain't so bad. Of course, when you wake up, if you wake up, you'll feel creaky and out of sorts, kinda like you're hung over, but it's not a hangover. Get used to it, because that's the way you'll feel from now on.

Your breakfast mush will fill you up and make you ready to face the day, right after you put your teeth in.

Getting dressed won't be a problem, even though you'll be wearing support hose, loafers (can't bend over to tie them laces!), a girdle (call it a back brace!), and the usual trousers and shirt. If you remember them. Be sure to zip up before you go out. In fact, it might be a good idea to put a little sign reading "Are you zipped?" on the inside of your door.

When you're all dressed, go take a walk. Be sure to wear your overshoes and take your cane. And don't forget your glasses -- be careful, those trifocals can be tricky!

Get yourself about a thousand of those yellow sticky notes. You can use them to remember things. Leave yourself notes, but make them understandable. Believe me, there's nothing worse than trying to figure out a note that says, "IMPORTANT!! Car!" and there's nothing else on it.

But eventually your birthday will come to an end, and you can retire to your nice warm comfy bed. Alone. After your nightly warm milk and medicine. After your nightly trip to the bathroom, which won't be your last....

Happy birthday.